Weird dreams..?

Yea..the word weird itself seems to be very synonym with me..heheh..well, few of my problems are settled already..it's just me that worried so much..

A few days recently, I had dreams about my long-time-no-see bestfriend, and one of my ex..my 4th ex..I don't know what it means, but I think it has to do with what's in my mind..what do i keep thinking about..quite missing my bestfriend though..she's always a talkative one, and I used to feel quite annoyed..but who knows, when she's gone..I really feel the 'emptiness'..I was always want to be invisible, I think I still do..but she never stop coming to me when the classes were over..and talk, and talk, and talk..she had many friends here..as she has a great personality; brilliant (i should say genius), outgoing, friendly, positive thinker, and cheerful. But she kept seeking for me..it made me feel 'special' in a way it was..but she's sick, and had to transfer her study to KL..I think I really need her at this moment..maybe for that reason, I had a dream about her and me seeing each other and spending time together..

Well, about my 4th ex..he gave me a big devastation..which is one of the biggest devastations of my life so far..the weird thing is, my dream about him is the happy one..and nothing has to do with our relationship in the past..I don't know..when we were in the relationship, i felt so much happy and 'special' too..maybe I'm just too lonely..maybe..

Never know why I'm feeling blue right now..but I really miss some parts of the past..I really want someone to be by my side..a bestfriend that cares..that's all..but I guess, people keep themselves away from me, because of myself that wanted to be 'invisible'..I'm happy to be this way, but the loneliness is still hurts, even it has been a loyal 'friend' to me..