What the heckkkk....

Nothing bizarre actually, but I'm always run out of ideas on deciding the title..heheh.. By the way, I'm successfully gone through the 'hell' days of sitting for 2 exam papers..Don't really know if I can make it or not..doesn't matter, for me..I like to enjoy every single moment in my life..let the past to be in the past..err..is it correct?? Nahhh..

In my previous post, I did mention about "a fucking bitch and I hate her"..yea, it's her..she suddenly talk to me in the morning which I prepared to sit for arab language paper..like nothing had happened between us before..that's what I don't like about her..simply take things too easily, including one's feeling like me..I know people make mistakes..me too, but can't she think before taking such a sudden action towards me?? Yea..forget it..I forgived her anyway..but to be frank, I can't treat her the same I used to...why?? Maybe it's the effect of the shocking 'sms'...bye2 a gud fren..

Weird dreams..?

Yea..the word weird itself seems to be very synonym with me..heheh..well, few of my problems are settled already..it's just me that worried so much..

A few days recently, I had dreams about my long-time-no-see bestfriend, and one of my ex..my 4th ex..I don't know what it means, but I think it has to do with what's in my mind..what do i keep thinking about..quite missing my bestfriend though..she's always a talkative one, and I used to feel quite annoyed..but who knows, when she's gone..I really feel the 'emptiness'..I was always want to be invisible, I think I still do..but she never stop coming to me when the classes were over..and talk, and talk, and talk..she had many friends here..as she has a great personality; brilliant (i should say genius), outgoing, friendly, positive thinker, and cheerful. But she kept seeking for me..it made me feel 'special' in a way it was..but she's sick, and had to transfer her study to KL..I think I really need her at this moment..maybe for that reason, I had a dream about her and me seeing each other and spending time together..

Well, about my 4th ex..he gave me a big devastation..which is one of the biggest devastations of my life so far..the weird thing is, my dream about him is the happy one..and nothing has to do with our relationship in the past..I don't know..when we were in the relationship, i felt so much happy and 'special' too..maybe I'm just too lonely..maybe..

Never know why I'm feeling blue right now..but I really miss some parts of the past..I really want someone to be by my side..a bestfriend that cares..that's all..but I guess, people keep themselves away from me, because of myself that wanted to be 'invisible'..I'm happy to be this way, but the loneliness is still hurts, even it has been a loyal 'friend' to me..

Study week..

This is the beginning of study week..it's only a week by the way..there's a lot of things in my mind, that keeps making me worry..I hope I can do well in this coming exam..

I keep failing too..I don't know how to focus only on my study while I got so many things to worry about...arrghh..I hate problems..I know that problems are part of life, but why is it have to be during exam's pressure? I want to be happy and proud of myself..there's so many obstacles I have to go through..and no one is with me but myself..*sigh*

God..please let me do the best this time..

She's a fucking bitch and I hate her..

I know the title is too harsh to describe how much I hate someone..but it's really not enough..well, that fucking bitch is one of my housemate, she's just become a member of hostel committee, what a wannabe bitch..and she's 2 years younger than me , which apparently my junior..

I do keep a kitten in my room as my pet for about 4 months until now, which I mentioned previously in my post..her name is Juli..at first all my housemates seemed ok with Juli..they played with Juli..and did concern bout her..but on the night before last night, I received an SMS from my so-called housemate, and told me to let Juli go..I take care of Juli for 4 months, since her size was only about my palm size..and that slut simply told me to let her go..who does she think she is? That bitch mentioned about how she feel uncomfortable with Juli around..and a so-called unpleasant smell from Juli...that is fucking bullshit..i keep Juli only in my room, the door closed at all times and I do clean my room everyday, and using air sanitizer to eliminate odour..what a bullshit if that so-called odour can spread to her room..plus, Juli using litter box..and i clean it everyday..it has been 4 months, 4 months and only now she suddenly attack me..

I can tolerate if she come to me and discuss bout this face to face..instead of attacking me by an sms..she's my housemate for God's sake..how rude she is..and now, I can't even look at her face..I HATE HER!!!!!!!!

I don't know what's the title..heheh

I don't understand why I have to feel damn sleepy if I have to stay awake and finish my work..adoi laa..now I ended up updating my blog..waargghh..never mind..I need to do something for refreshment..heheh

I let Juli, my kitten to play outside the apartment..she seemed bored and unhappy to stay in my room for a long time, so being a nice guardian i let her playing outside and she do enjoy meeting friend (one adult male cat)..and he seems very interested in Juli..huhu..she only about to turn 4 months old, obviously not ready for mating..heheh

One thing to be the reason I want her to be outside the room is becuz she seems to have diarrhea..yuckss...but she still my lovely cutie..ermm luv u juli!!

Ok..back to work now...adessss

My Imaginary Bf..*smile n sigh*

Waaaa...finally found my true love...my hot hot Andy...who cares if every girl crazy bout him...he's my man!!

I walked at Suria KLCC..went shopping alone...huwaa sedey..friends? Got no friends la becuz I'm still new in this city..just got here a few weeks after accepting a job offer. Went shopping to buy clothes, I'm just started my career so need to buy new clothes la and everything.. Well..bought a handbag, kasut, 6 pairs of gowns and jacket..wow..my two hands are not enough to carry them. Too bad I didn't bring anyone to come along with me..cuz hell, I looked like an idiot carrying all these stuffs among these fancy people....arrgghhhh..

My stuffs getting mounted on my face..hopefully I don't mess up hitting people.. Suddenly my barang jatuh..waaa too bad I really hit someone, kelam kabut lifted my stuffs all together..isk shame la becuz everyone was looking at me..the guy in front of me, aiya didn't look at his face at 1st cuz too kelam kabut..but he was kindly helping me get my stuffs all together..

"Are u okay?" I heard his macho deep voice.

"Yeah..I'm fine. Sorry anyway" my reply to him in 'sorry' voice..heheh

"Is it ok if i help u carry this? I mean it's difficult for u to carry alone..so maybe I could help u carry these to ur car..?" waaa..so kind la this guy..I lifted my face and looked at him..but, wait a minute..this guy looked familiar..ermm..tried to recall my memory..is he a 'someone' I knew before?

Suddenly my heart just felt like it wanted to stop beating..yea, that cute face, and very stylo with that hairstyle..he was very tall as I had to dongak to look at his face..one more thing, he was looking at me with that heart-melting smile!!

"Yea..that would be nice.." I said after a long silence.

"Ok then..to your car. Shall we..?" waaa...so gentleman la this guy..I wish the time stop at this moment forever..

"So did u come here by yourself? Where r your friends? I mean Hanafi, Din and the others?" I just wanted to start a chit chat.

"Ohh..I didn't plan to come here actually..just dropped by when I suddenly remember to get something..but hey, u really know their names..u know us do u?"

"Who don't? Hehe..love ur songs very much. I do keep them in my iPod, all I can say..keep up the good work!" I said in energetic voice..I saw him smiling..aww..so sweet..it was like malu-malu skit..and a bit proud maybe..

"So..is this your car?" he said when he saw me stopped by a white kancil, and I put down my stuffs..I just nodded, and took out the keys from my handbag. Breathless..

"Penat..?" he asked with a smile..I nodded in a sheepish smile.

"Well..I guess I better be going.." things got akward..maybe I was too shy..and we were both strangers to each other.

"Yeah..and thanks..it's so sweet of you" aisey..was that all I can say to him??

"And u too..very sweet..I mean..nice to meet u.." wow that's weird..to see him nervous like this..I never know him to be this nervous, but why eh? Wasn't it should be me to feel nervous?

"Ok..bye then..take care. And thanks once again.."I raised my voice a little bit as he was going quite a distance from me. He was just raised his hand and smile. Ermm...that's it right..but I guess, it's a wonderful experience to have a conversation with such a celebrity stud. I think I won't be able to sleep tonight...heheh...

So..put my things in the bonet, better to get going from here..lapar la..huhu, just about to get inside my car...

"Hey..I know all of these sudden things will make u uncomfortable, but will u go out with me? Or at least give me your phone number so that we can meet at some time later..?"

I was terribly shocked..I looked out of the window, and he was standing there..I didn't realize that he was coming back..what should I do..? Err..how to react eh? I'm kinda takut..is this like a prank show..what is it called..wakenabeb? Or the other one..bang bang boom? Hahah..if I fall in this trap..sure malu, my face will be on tv what.

"R u serious? Is there any camera around?" yea..I really asked that stupid question.

He laughed..he was cute when he laugh but I was getting so embarassed. I can feel my face blushed at that moment!

"Of course not..there's no camera around. So..u haven't answer me yet.." his eyes was looking at my face..hunting for my eyes..arrgghh..can't look straight in his eyes..ermm..what was his question again..yea..about going out or give him my phone number..I think the best answer will be giving him my number..so that I can get more prepared next time..ermm..how should I give him eh..I didn't see he holding his cellphone..so I took out my small notebook, wrote my number and torn it. Yea..gave it to him..

"Thanks..so, where are u going after this?" he asked, as he looked at the piece of paper I gave him. I wish he won't lose that tiny paper..

"I'll be heading back to my home. Quite rushing, so.." hehe..simply an excuse to get away from him..yea..this is too drastic..

"Ooh, ok then..see u soon. And thanks for this.." he raised his hand showing me that piece of paper..yea..ur welcome, andy..

I purposely waited for him to go first until he dissappeared from my sight, hehe I didn't want him to see my reckless driving..just got my P license actually..heheh

And will Andy call me tonight? Haha..this silly daydreaming of Andy is getting interesting..Even if it's not true..I'll be happy to just thinking bout it..*sigh*

The beauty of ROCK

I don't know why..rock music can simply calm me down..I really enjoy it..it suits myself and emotions..wakes some kind of 'energy' and anger within me..

Weird...

Work, work, work...arghh..!!! I gone through sleepless nights and don't ask me how I look like. Maybe it's my fault to be a bad planner..i can't really plan things smoothly. Guess it's my bad. Well, I attempted to finish all my work by tomorrow, but I guess unexpected things tend to occur at such a critical moment. My laptop seems to be infected with some kind of a virus..I don't know, I tried to log on to windows but it kept booting all over again and again. Sent it to technician anyway.

Desperately, I borrowed Juriah's laptop tonight..and pity her, I'm sure she feels all lonely without her 'sweetheart'. Sorry Juriah! I'll pay your good deeds whenever I'm free..hehe..
Well, as I was doing my work..there was a friend i knew from yahoo messenger..he IM me, yeah sometimes I really can entertain these guys even when I'm so busy..but from my 1st experience chatting with him..the last time i remember he didn't make me happy..I guess he's a bit harsh, with his language. Simply call me stupid, like that. But this time, he was such a sweet guy. That's not weird enough..the weirdest thing is, how he can simply read my mind and my behavior.

Well...A refers to him, ME refers to me. I purposely copy paste it from meebo I was using when i was chatting with him. Nice to remember :) .. by the way, I have to cut off some of the text, because it would be inappropriate to display them as he put his trust in me to keep the secret.


A : hey u r still online
A : wow
A : u thr????
ME: hi
ME: yup
ME: i'm still here
ME: wats the time now
A : its 11'25 PM here
A : wht about thr????
ME: ermm
ME: 1.30am rite here
ME: u dont want to go to sleep?
A : not nw
A : will talk to you first
A : ofcourse if u dont mind
ME: oohh
ME: it's ok
ME: where do u stay in india?
ME: mumbai?
A: ya
A: hv u ever been here?????
ME: nope
ME: just guessing
ME: it's the capital city rite
A : no
A : Delhi is the capital city
A : mumbai is the financial hib on India
A : hey how come u r online for so long????
ME: oohh.. i do some work here..so just get connected, in case i might need some info..i can search for it right away
A : alrite..n lucky me
A : got an opportunity to talk to you twice in a single day
ME : heheh.. sweet talker
ME : ur gf must be very lucky
A : hey i told u tht too tht i m nt going around with neone
A : i dnt hv ne gf..dnt get time actually
ME : it's hard to believe
ME :ur so young n successful
A : everybody says like tht
ME : just lack one thing..a gf..heheh
A : i beleive in true lov
A : it might nt jst hd arrived for me
A : wht about u ????
ME : ermm..me too
ME : but it's very hard to find
A : very true
ME : i think it's almost impossible
A : well if u look at the spelling of impossible..its like I M Possible
A : its jst the way we think n tk things
ME : yup
ME : i think ur very romantic
ME : hav u been in love?
A : well to be very frank
A : i hv never thought of girls tht way
A : i hv had a lot many friends who are girls
ME : wat do u mean?
A :but thy r jst friends
ME : so u never fall in love?
A : didnt get ne luck..so u hv never been in love????
ME : hav..many times
ME : n most of the time i got confused..which is the true love
ME : get wat i mean?
A : ya got tht
A : so u hv been with guys but never found tht Mr perfect yet
ME : yea..correct
A : u know wht i think is tht u r a very sensitive girl with very strong emotions
ME : ur very true..i'm the most sensitive girl that myself ever know in this world
A : u knw wht is also a characteristic queality in you tht u r very determined
A : though u find it hard to tk decisions..which makes u a little indecisive
ME : ermm
A : u would consult from everyone
A : but at the end would do what u think is right
ME : yea..consult..not really but i do ask someone
A : alrite i'll tell you few more things
ME : seriously?
A : u r a kinda girl who hv many dreams
A : u hv your own world in which you are princess
A : n u rule the world thr
ME : this cant be true..how can u know that much bout me?
A : u r also not much open to everyone
A :one more thing..you dont want anyone to know you fully
A : rather you would let him/her know only to the extent you wanna them to know
ME : yes..thats true
A : one more thing
A : u love yourself..n pamper yourself a lot
A : but u r waiting for someone to pamper you now
ME : ur not guessing from my birthdate rite
A : i m very bad in birthdates
A : rather i dnt know tht
ME : i'm a virgo
ME : u can know all these stuffs from horoscope
ME : but i dont think u know my birthdate
A : alrite if u say so
A : but i dnt know ur bithdate
A : lemme tell u somethng which might had happened in ur life
A : thr is smthing which had happened in ur life which had given u a scar or smthing
A : which u try to hide from everyone
A : thr ws sm accident..in which tht hppened
ME : mmmm
ME : do u know wats that scar?
A : u tell me
A : first of all tell me whether i am right or wrong????????
ME : ur right
A : now tell me about tht scar
ME : mmm..i cant
A : ok dnt tell me
A : but i wnt to tell u smthing more..do not do anything in life for which u wud later feel regreted
A : u hv got a very sweet heart
ME : ermm
A : u can loose your senses in anger
A : though you dnt get angry often
ME : but i'm kinda stupidly innocent
A : but it like an earthquake
A : i knw tht
A : u also dnt beleive in ne one or everyone
A : but u wud listen to everyone carefully
A : music is smthing which relaxes your mind n soul..n refreshes you
ME : ermmm
ME : this is so unbelievable
ME : u can simply read my mind..my behaviour
A : no i can feel you heart
A : this is how n what me is all about
A : u thr??????
ME : i'm here
A : i hope i m nt disturbing u
ME : in my dreams..i always see white color
A : tht shows tht u dnt angry
ME : think there's a meaning of everything
A : but u r very dangerous when u r angry actually
ME : how dangerous can i be?
A : ur anger
A : like an earthquake..remember
ME : real life example
ME : i hav a kitten
ME : i hold her in my arms
A : wow
ME : n in a second
ME : i beat her..then i hold her back again
A : u knw wht
A : u r searching smthing
A : u r becoming very impatientce
A : but u r nt able to decide your priorities
A : smtimes its your career
A : sometimes its ur family
A : n many times its your soulmate..with whom u hv nt met yet
ME : ermmm
ME : yea
ME : hav u found someone like me b4?
A : not actually
A : but i found a very interesting person in you
ME : ermm..thats weird
ME : no one ever tell me that i'm special or interesting
A : u r nice
ME : many hav said that i'm kinda weird
A : n very special too
ME: thnks
A : dnt say thnx for wht u r
ME : someone has actually 'found' me
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well..there's so much more but it's too long for me to edit..hehe..just highlighted the main issue which I meant right here..the title of this post..? Duhh..I used to think that it is impossible for people to understand of who and what I am..but this stranger, simply can tell what kind of person I am. I'm still impressed..

A very long night...

I've been awake before midnight until now..and it's 6.30 in the morning.. What the hell!! After one whole night without sleep, I still can't finish my programming assignment. My head have been spinning for 2-3 hours, just can't think straight for the moment. Argggghhhh...got class to attend at 10 am, it would be better to sleep for the whole day.

I think I better go now...ZzZzZzZz

The beginning of everything..

There is always a beginning to everything in this world..same goes to me and this very first post..heheh..memang da lama aku nak blogging..tapi banyak gak benda lain yang membantutkan niat murni aku tersebut..huhu..

Nothing much to say, just for initial and to establish that i am officially have a blog..yahoo! (quite retarded..huh?) By the way, aku akan usahakan untuk mengepos macam-macam ke dalam blog ni pada masa akan datang..c u soon!!